I’m just kidding about the food photography part. I’ve never done food photography but it felt weird to not have a descriptive title.
So…if you follow me on Twitter, you might have noticed that there was some smack talk goin’ down between myself and my Cali-photog-buddy Zak Schwank over who makes a better guacamole. Schwank went all “follow-through-on-my-threats” and actually posted a blog recipe with his version so of course AFTER THAT, I had to respond.
So here…dear internet – are the instructions for making the most radtastical guacamole that will ever pass through your mouth. I guess if you want to, you can check out Schwank’s recipe HERE and then decide for yourself which you like better.
OR…make your own and post a link to YOUR recipe in the comments.
Here’s the stuff you need:
Cilantro, Garlic, Roma Tomatoes, Jalapeno Peppers, Avocado, White Onion, Limes, Salt
We’ll make enough Guac for 2 people in this recipe

Guacomole is a 2-part recipe. The first part is to make Pico de Gallo. The second is to make the Guac. We start out by making Pico.
Dice up your tomatoes. I always look for really firm Roma Tomatoes because I don’t like little mushy tomatoes in my guac.
Isn’t this bamboo cutting board cute? Mine is from HERE.
A little factoid: bamboo can grow up to 8ft per day because it’s a grass and not a tree. So when it’s harvested, 1/3 of the harvested bamboo will fully grow back within one year, making it a smarter earth-choice than regular hardwood cutting boards. Which i think is cool.
Cuz I’m an eco-nerd like that.

Then chop up your onion. I only used about half because the onion I had was pretty big.

Mix those up in a bowl. The key here is to make sure that the amount of tomato and onion are approximately equal. If they’re not, the pico (which is what we’re doing now) won’t taste quite right.

Couple of cloves of garlic….
I don’t have a fancy garlic dicer like Schwank does so I just use a knife.
cuz I’m old-school like that.

Then Jalapenos. Personally, I like to use TWO Jalapenos. WITH the seeds.
But then I’m the only one who can eat it (so says my husband as his eyes water and he runs from the room for some water).
So you’ll just have to decide what’s enough for you. You might want to start with one, take out the seeds and chop it up. If you think it needs more OOMPH you can add more.
Factoid: I don’t ever get it, but apparently some people experience a stinging sensation in their finger tips if they handle jalapeno seeds? You can prevent it by washing your hands after you handle the peppers. If they burn you can get rid of the sensation by rinsing your hands in vinegar or milk.
Do NOT touch your eyes.
Or the viewfinder on your camera, where your eye will later rest.
I’m just sayin’.
Of course, **I** would never do anything so dumb.
ahem.
ANYHOO…..

Cilantro’s next. For the 2-person recipe, I used about half of the bunch from the grocery store.

Mix it all together in a bowl.
Nevermind the chips and dents in this bowl. (She’s had a long and checkered past and she doesn’t want to talk about it)

Take half a lime and squeeze it over the bowl and stir it in.
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Then knock back a tequila shot and put the other lime in your mouth.
WHAT?!? GET OUT OF HERE CAST OF JERSEY SHORE!! WHO INVITED YOU?!?
(Please disregard that portion of the recipe)
——————–
Factoid: Did you know if you roll the lime around on the counter before you cut it open that you’ll get more juice from it?

Then I like to add just a bit of salt. You don’t want too much because more than likely your chips will already be salted, but it gives it a nice flavor to add a little bit. I like to use Mediterranean Sea Salt because it has a very robust flavor.
And i’m fancy like that.

Good. Pico is Finished! It’s delish to dip your chips in the mixture we just made if you want to, but now it’s time for the guac.
Take a couple of ripe avocados and slice it in half lengthwise. The easiest way to get the seed out is to give it a good wack with the knife and it’ll pop right out.
Then scrape out the inside of the avocado “shell” with a spoon and throw it in a bowl.

Mash it up really well. I use the bottom of a clean kids’ cup. I am SOoooo kitchen gadget savvy.
Take the other half of that lime from the Pico and squeeze it in to the avocado mash and mix it up.
Last step is to take a few big spoonfuls of the pico (depending on how chunky you like your guac) and mix it in with your avocado.

Voila!
Add in some Blue Corn Chips and you’ve got a Guac-gasm in your mouth!

Oh. One more thing.

Perfection.
Printable Recipe HERE.